What did Homi Adajania give to the cast and crew of Finding Fanny?

The director of the Deepika Padukone-Arjun Kapoor starrer sent out a hysterical letter to the cast and the crew of the film

Homi Adajania gave letters to the cast and crew of his movie Finding Fanny, which stars Deepika Padukone, Arjun Kapoor, Naseeruddin Shah, Dimple Kapadia and Pankaj Kapur. But don’t assume that he, like Sajid Khan, sent out letters promising the actors that the movie will hit the jackpot at the box office. Whenever Sajid starts a film, he gives letters to his cast welcoming them to the biggest hit of their career.

Homi’s letter to his team was a hilarious one. When asked about it, the director says, “It was a very hard shoot, which we knocked off in 41 days and it was only possible owing to an amazing bunch of people. So, I wrote a letter to thank them. But it’s personal so it won’t make sense to anyone apart from them… Besides it’s full of profanity so you won’t be able to print it.”

Although he wasn’t ready to share the contents, we managed to get our hands on it, thanks to a crew member who shared a copy with us after swearing it to secrecy. Reproduced below enjoy!! Goodbye and thank you, Parsi style!

To the CREW and CAST of Finding Fanny … Nov 15th 2013.

In these last 50-odd days, you could have done anything. You could have:

a) Trekked naked in stilettos to the South Pole.

b) Learned the complex art of living in oxymoronic bliss.

c) Stop the sun from setting.

d) Saved a little-known animal from extinction.

Instead you chose to get sun-f@#ked and flirt with melanoma, abandon loved ones who have probably abandoned you by now, forced fake smiles and formed dodgy friendships (Hmm… wonder who all?) you have no intention of continuing, played bitches to bosses who nuked your self-esteem out of existence.

All for the sake of Finding Fanny.

Just so you could send out a strong message that even mush-brained dysfunctional buffoons are also, apparently, people. People, who deserve 90 minutes of their own little bizarre story.

And all you guys got out of this was irreversible sunburn and a permanent hangover.

You intrepid little guerrillas, you gangsters of love, samurais of selflessness and ninjas of nonsense, words do not apparently fail me to describe how much I love you all for being a part of this.

If someone accidentally misplaced an obese Goan woman called Stefanie with a disastrous thyroid and dumpster-truck stomach, and we had to find that f@#king bitch one more time, I’d do it all over again but only with all of you.

Without even one of you I would never have ever found Fanny the way we did. With sweat and tears, but more importantly booze, some dodgy substances and lots of laughter.

Be happy and laugh loud always.

With more love, respect and gratitude than I can genuinely express.

X

Homi

The ‘Director’ of Finding Fanny

(In case any of you were wondering what the f@#k I was doing on set)

Sent with opposable thumb

Text and Image: DNA

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